Every day when I wake up, it is like waking up to a nightmare. You hope that you would just find it all was a very bad dream and that you will just wake up. But God is very present through it all, He has revealed His presence at just the right moments, just when you need it most!
My mom's struggle with health issues has been like a roller coaster ride to the whole family. One day you are up in the clouds seeing progress, then one day you find your hopes dashed to the ground.
I remember the time when my mom would try to go to church despite her weakness. One could only admire her devotion when in her condition she would be much comfortable in bed. We would need another companion as I couldn't support her on my own.
But then the last time we went, we had to go home in the middle of it. I felt so sorry for my mom. While driving her home, it seemed like someone whispered in my ear "God had abandoned your family" and I knew it was the enemy trying to discourage me. My eyes started to well up with tears.
Just then I looked up into the clouds (don't worry it was a red light) and noticed a sea of clouds had a huge hole in the middle (like an upside down manhole). Peeking through the clouds was a perfectly shaped face of an elderly man. Picture Santa Clause looking down from a cloud curtain. I was in awe!
I told my mom and our companion to look up but because they were sitting in the other side of the car, they could hardly see it.
The man had a gentle beard and soft, wavy hair and a kind face. But what struck me was the very sad expression on his face. His eyes were sad though I could only describe my reaction to seeing him was pure joy!
In my heart I knew God was telling me that He hasn't abandoned us. In fact, He too was sad when we were sad. That He knew every sorrow.
" You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8
And seconds after the cars started to move, signifying we had to be on our way. I drove across the intersection and not even five minutes after, I glanced up again to look at the face. It was gone! Clouds don't move that fast! The only thing left was the hole in the sea of clouds. God peeked into the earth just for a moment to show me His ever watchful presence.
Every time after that when things started to turn bleak, I would remember the face in the clouds and be strengthened once more.
At another instance, when my mom's condition rapidly worsened, I felt that our options for treatment were dwindling. Then The Lord told me, "until the last breath there is hope". So I continue to hope in Him with eyes of faith.
"For we live by faith and not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7
Even when my heart was joyful and full of hopes, God would continue to bring word of His love and presence.
One time a friend, in the middle of a large gathering, just turned to me and said that God wanted to tell me to just allow Him to love me (that was the gist of of it). Then another friend texted me the same message.
Tonight a friend from abroad messaged me saying she dreamt of me. That God wanted to calm me in the midst of the storm. God's timings are just perfect! His word would fill me up for the journey. Despite my sinfulness, He is so faithful.
At no other time in my life have I felt His boundless grace. Thank You Lord!!! ☺️❤️😊😇😄