God will Provide


Sometimes life is like a vast, dry desert.  You feel alone in a barren wasteland.  This is what I felt when I was in the hospital last June.  I hate hospitals and pills and this is what was supposed to heal me.  It was a prison sentence.

And yet, there was an abundance of good food, smiles and tender care from the doctors and staff.  At one point, I thought that this was what a member of the Royal Family felt like.

With 7 doctors to think of my well-being, I should have had no worries but one of the medications resulted in cardiac storms.

A cardiac storm is when your heart feels like it is being crushed and it is beating fast even when you are just sitting still.  It is hard to put your head to the pillow because you would feel your whole body pounding and trembling along with your heart.   It seemed like a long heart attack and the pain intensified with every "storm".  I felt like I was near death's door.  

Before I was hospitalized, my friend had a dream of me.  I was at the heart of the ocean, being surrounded by gentle waves.  For me, this meant that I was a recipient of God's divine mercy.  God's mercy is boundless like an ocean.  The dream prepared me for the desert.  

Even while in a desert, one can have rest.  My husband wrote the most beautiful letters that eased my pains.  Family and friends wrote and prayed.  The prayers buoyed my spirits and the next time a storm happened, miraculously, there was no more pain.  My body trembled from head to toe but my heart was not crushed.

It is during these times when I felt God was teaching me about trust, humility and patience.  It was there that He impressed on my heart that He was in charge of me.  He was my doctor and that I should not worry about whatever protocol the doctors wanted to do.  He was not going to allow me to die before my time.

I think that it is during the darkest days where we can make God smile.  If we are in a scary situation and yet we choose to put our trust in Him, this pleases the Lord.  We can recall all the times He has saved us.  Surely a loving Father will not let us go through a desert without provisions and without a purpose.  

Today I am grateful to be home from the hospital close to my beloved husband. The prayers worked and the storms ceased.  Remembering how blessed we are is a good thing to do.  To thank God is to live well.  To thank God in the desert is to live extraordinarily well.  Whether in times of peace or turmoil, let us praise the Lord.


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